


Fowl Play

by DeprivedofInsanity



Series: The Flash AUs [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Bird!AU, Eddie doesn't die, Episode: s01e23 Fast Enough, Gen, I swear it wasn't supposed to be this way, Interspaced hilarity, Mentions of avian torture, Mentions of suicidal tendencies, Slight anxiety attack, This fic ran away from me, This is a lot more intense that I thought it would be, mentions of depression, slight fix-it fic, wall-to-wall bird puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 07:07:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6460627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeprivedofInsanity/pseuds/DeprivedofInsanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>My name is Birdy Allen, and I am the fastest bird alive.</i>
</p><p>or</p><p>a Bird!AU version of the season 1 finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fowl Play

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, you can blame my lovely friend [cardinalstar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cardinalstar/) for getting me into The Flash and co-spawning this madness, and also [WynterTwylight](http://archiveofourown.org/users/WynterTwylight/) for enthusiastically supporting it.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~I hate you both.~~
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: mentions of depression, suicidal tendencies, anxiety attacks, avian torture. 
> 
> Side effects include: laughing out loud, screeching, possible hyperventilation, and violent urges.
> 
> Minor edits (4/4/2016)

_My name is Birdy Allen, and I am the fastest bird alive. When I was a chick, I saw my mother killed by something impossible. My father was exiled for her murder. To the outside world, I am an ordinary forensic sciencebird, but secretly I use my speed to fight crime and find others like me. And one day I'll find who killed my mother and get justice for my father. That day is today._

 

*             *              *              *

 

Ciscoo could only watch helplessly as Eobird and Birdy fought inside the Piperline, the two long-legged birds whizzing about at breakneck speeds. He was still dazed from the destruction of the  ~~hamster ball~~  Time Sphere, and from the looks of it, Joe wasn't any better. And, let's be real, what could a potoo and a cockatoo do anyway? Neither species was known for its ferocity, and most certainly not for their speed. Maybe a mob would work, but the last time they tried that, every other bird had been killed, so....

 

Oh fluff buckets. The wormhole. Ciscoo managed to flutter at least somewhat upright to see the rip in space-time shudder for a heart-stopping second, and then vanish in a flash of white. Relieved, he flopped back onto the ground. Must have been Cootlin and Ronnie. At least they wouldn't have to worry about all of Central City being compressed into a super-dense ball of matter. 

 

Unfortunately, that still left them trapped with a murderous burrowing owl, who was now pinning a stunned Birdy against the wall. "Just so we're clear," Eobird rasped, anger distorting his voice further, "I'm going to kill you, and then I'm going to kill them, and then I'm going to kill your father. I always win,  _Flash_." Eobird's talons tightened into a spear-shape, and the sight made Ciscoo panic from half-remembered pain. Frantically, the potoo tried to find the claws that Joe had brought with him. Sure, the Reverse-Flash was fast enough to dodge bullets but at least he had to try something. Come on Ciscoo, where were they, hold on why was Emu here, the claws, Emu no-!

 

A sudden beam of blue flame blasted Eobird away from Birdy, the roadrunner falling to the ground panting. Piconard Snart, of all birds, descended from the rafters, the wingbeats of him and his Rogues loud in the stunned, awkward silence that followed. Ciscoo's beloved Freeze Claws were still aimed at a shuddering Eobird, and for the first time since Snart had taken them, Ciscoo was glad they existed. That didn't explain why they were here, though.

 

"Snart? What are  _you_  doing here?" Joe wobbled upright, crest flaring slightly. He glanced around, making sure to keep an eye on Eobird, while Ciscoo tentatively took the claws from where they were pointed at Emu's breast. The large bird had a slightly dazed look, and blinked rapidly when his leg was lowered. "Emu?" Ciscoo asked softly.

 

"I-I'm fine," he stammered, taking a few steps back. "I'm fine." The last words were murmured, and Ciscoo watched him warily but let it slide. For now.

 

In lieu of answering Joe, Piconard just blasted Eobird again, making sure his legs were frozen, and then again in the wings for good measure. Pica rolled her eyes. "Hello, Ciscoo," she cooed, fluttering her tail feathers. "Aren't you glad we got here in time?"

 

Ciscoo shuffled away. "Uhh. Thanks. I guess. Why are you here again?"

 

Mick had flown over to the remains of the Time Sphere and was poking around the shinies littering the ground. "Well, see, Snart here-"

 

"Actually," Pica interrupted, ignoring Mick's squawk of indignation, "Pico had something he wanted to say. Didn't you, brother?"

 

The other magpie bristled slightly, then sighed. "A certain little birdy mentioned you might have some trouble," he drawled, "and I decided, why not? For the sake of preserving my city, shall we say." Pica poked him harshly with one gold-covered talon. Snart stiffened, and Ciscoo straightened. Something that made Snart uncomfortable? Oh, this was gonna be good. "Pica," the magpie warned. She just flicked a spot of dirt from under her claws and pointedly whistled a bar from a tune. The Freeze Claws whirred dangerously as Piconard took a deep breath and growled. "And in the name of love," he ground out mechanically, each word visibly paining him, "before you break Birdy's heart. Think. It. Over." Each word was a dagger launched at Pica, who smugly brushed them off, and the ice-cold glare swerved back to the prone burrowing owl. "Eobird."

 

Snart was apparently not only a master of thievery, but also of awkward silences. 

 

"Well, in any case," Joe said gruffly, taking flight, "thanks for the help." As he passed Emu, he whispered, "Don't think I don't know what you were gonna try there, partner. We're gonna have a talk about that." Emu dipped his head, and Joe continued towards where Birdy was getting up. "You okay?" 

 

Birdy shook himself out. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just...was Emu-was Emu about to shoot himself, to save me?" His talons slowly scritched against the metal floor. "How many people have to die for me?"

 

Joe could see the beginnings of a panic attack brewing. "Birdy, calm-"

 

"No!" Birdy shouted, and Emu sat down suddenly as Birdy forced his knees to buckle. "Birdy, I-" Emu started.

 

Birdy flashed up Emu's neck and pinched the emu's beak shut. His eyes bore into Emu's, viciously green. "Shut. Up. If you had killed yourself for me...if I can't protect those closest to me...then WHAT'S THE POINT OF ME HAVING THESE POWERS?!" The roadrunner's chest heaved as his anger mixed with despair. "I left my mother to die because it was the right thing to do. If you think I'm going to let Ibis feel that pain, then you've got another thing coming." Once he was certain his point had been made, Birdy hopped down, turning to confront the Snarts. Stunned, Emu only looked away from that red-feathered back when Ibis flew in and touched beaks with him. 

 

"What were you thinking, Emu?" she whispered, tears sliding down her lores. Emu could only wrap his neck around hers and keep her close.

 

Meanwhile, Piconard was studiously ignoring Pica's attempts at confirming the Flash's identity. "Come on, Pico, who names their chick Birdy anyway?" Pica whined, and Piconard grunted, firing off a shot of ice. That spot by the wing junction was looking a little weak. 

 

"It's short for Birdolomew," Birdy offered with a sigh. He looked a little drained, but at least alive. "Thanks for saving my life, Snart."

 

"No problem," the magpie offered smoothly, flicking his tail feathers. "Now--I don't think those burn, Mick--looks like you owe me another one, chick." Near the shattered remains, Mick snorted.

 

Birdy bristled. "I told you not to call me that."

 

"Would you rather I call you Sparky?"

 

"Yes." The roadrunner paused. "Wait. No. Fluff." Piconard puffed a little in triumph.

 

"Hate to interrupt your flirting, but the burrowing beauty over there has woken up." Pica shuffled a little nervously at the increasingly hysterical laughter. 

 

"Of all things," Eobird was howling maniacally, "a magpie! Oh, Snart, I knew I should have killed you once you got those claws. Ripped your wings off and slowly, slowly plucked your sister. Turned her into a gold statue piece by piece, and then melted her down-" Whatever left he had to say was muffled by his frozen beak, and Piconard lowered his foot slowly.

 

"Detective Crest." Joe nodded and began ushering Emu, Ibis, and Ciscoo out. Piconard motioned for Birdy to follow them, but the roadrunner hesitated. 

 

"Listen Snart, I know he's done some-"

 

"No one threatens my sister, chick. Now get out."

 

"Please." Birdy took a few hesitant steps towards Piconard. "After we fix the Piperline-"

 

This time, a whirring claw was pointed in his direction. "Out."

 

Birdy silently retreated, but not without casting one last look at Piconard.

 

The three birds left looked at each other and began advancing slowly. "Well, sis, what do you say we do with him?" 

 

"Well, we can't kill him just yet, Pico, not after what he said."

 

"Let's pluck 'im, tar and feather 'im, and then BURN 'im," Mick crooned bloodthirstily. 

 

Eobird watched them come, greedily drinking in their hate. Death, death was inevitable, but  _hate_. Hate, he knew, would fuel for his memory long after this miserable body was gone. Hate for his betrayal of Team Flash's trust, hate for how he'd used them, hate for how even now they still cared about him. Eobird had made the Flash. Eobird was his future. The Chicken and the Egg. (Or was it the Egg and the Chicken? History never did figure that one out.)

 

In either case, he was eternal.

 

The body of Mick Rara loomed over Eobird's head, his breath hot and rancid. "Bye bye, birdie."

 

**Author's Note:**

> The Cast as birds (in order of appearance):
> 
> Barry Allen - "Birdy Allen", roadrunner  
> Cisco Ramon - "Ciscoo Ramoon", potoo bird  
> Eobard Thawne/Harrison Wells - "Eobird Thawne/Burrowson Wells", secretary bird turned burrowing owl  
> Joe West - "Joe Crest", white cockatoo  
> Caitlin Snow - "Cootlin Snowbird", rock ptarmigan  
> Ronnie Reynolds - "Ronnie Reycob", tundra swan  
> Eddie Thawne - "Emu Thawne", emu  
> Leonard Snart - "Piconard Snart", Eurasian magpie  
> Lisa Snart - "Pica Snart", Eurasian magpie  
> Mick Rory - "Mick Rara", crested caracara  
> Iris West - "Ibis Crest", crested ibis
> 
> Lores - the area between a bird's eyes and the beginning of the beak/nostrils


End file.
